Stan's New Blog

Interested in reading up on Stan's new adventures as a bus driver? Click the link below to read his stories at the new blog...Wiper on the Bus

http://thewipersonthebus.blogspot.com/

Christmas Letter 2014

We have been reading some of the Christmas Greetings and we are just sort of taking them in and enjoying the updates.  It would be nice to send out something that has all good news.  And to some measure we have had some of that this year. We live at a different place now. We have more experience at being Grandparents than we did a year ago.  We are pretty good at it I think. It is one of the easier tasks in our lives so far. Our cars are running pretty good. I took a job driving school bus for our local school system.  That one has been a little more challenging than I might have thought but it still has been interesting.  We sold our place up north so we do not have to worry about the bears anymore.  Anyway lots of changes and challenges of a new nature.

We have had adventures on the health front with our parents.  On Jan. 11 my Dad died.  He suffered a stroke that took his life.  I recall walking down the hall after we got the call from Mom and he was waving at me. I thought he was going to be OK but soon learned that the wave was involuntary and within three days my Dad was gone from this life.  He was my best friend in so many ways.  Not a day goes by without some memory.  At the same time his friendship, his thinking, his love and his thoughts stay with me in a special way.  I know how sad it is (as many have experienced) but at the same time the wonderful feeling of a life well lived and an investment in life that reached many of us, ring in our hearts in a special way. My Mother lives here in town at Freedom Village.  She is very happy there and we see her often.  It was a real blessing for all of us that they moved there before Dad passed away and it has been a joy to see her enjoy her new home. She broke her wrist a few months ago in a fall but has the cast off now.  She does not complain and enjoys the many friendships she has gained there.  She invites us often to the fine dining facility there.

Deb's Dad survived a heart bypass surgery late this past summer.  He is a man of high energy but became increasingly concerned that his energy level had gone down and after some tests they found the blockages that required the surgery.  I think his "return to action" has been a little slower that he might have desired. Slowly but surely though we all see improvement and we are just glad to have him around. Deb's Mom continues to do well with her pacemaker and frequent Coumadin checks. She has become a good caretaker.  They invited Deb and her sister Krista to vacation with them in Florida in February of 2015.  Deb is hoping that she feels well enough for this. It will be a 60th birthday present for them.  

Every one of our friends ask about how we are dealing with Deb’s cancer.  Well, that has been somewhat remarkable.  We have had a few events this past year of fever and hospitalizations but the overall picture has been that life has progressed at a higher level than could be expected. Come to think of it, life has progressed for over three years now beyond an original diagnosis.  Many comment on the fact that Deb looks good.  I would be remiss however in not saying the challenges of late have been strong .  Recently Deb has endured a series of tests to determine the best chemo treatment. Turns out that the testing and determinations that need to be made for the best  outcome are both complicated and concerning.   It is true that recent times have brought on periods of not feeling good and increasing concern. It seems that the doctors are having more difficulty matching the treatment to the difficulty of the disease.

We recently made the decision to sell our place up north and to put our home in Holland up for sale.  We moved to a condo at 551 Winter Oak Court right here in Holland less than 2 miles from our home.  (same zip 49424)  

Mieke teaches 4th grade in the Hudsonville system. She and Aaron live about 2 miles away from us and they have a dog named Lambeau.  Aaron is a Packer fan. He took a new job this year that requires some international travel. Both of them seem to be happy.  I do say however, that anyone who names a dog after a football field still needs some refinement.   I am sort of hoping the Lions can somehow have a year that would make him think twice about the name of that dog. They are both doing well and we enjoy living close to them.

Alden works for Great Lakes Brewing and lives in the GR area.  Alden and Mary have a daughter named Ainsley. Ainsley has sort of taken on star status around here and now that she is 1 1/2 she is getting this figured out pretty good.  I am not sure you often hear "this is a little more fun than I thought it was going to be" but somehow these words fit as they relate to our joy in having her around.  Mary is working in design at Steelcase.  Mary's mom writes books about strong fathers and mothers and we do not have to look all that far to see that these kids must be reading these every now and then.

Ross and his bride Rumy started a new position in the California in the San Jose area with a church  as directors of music. Ross was home for a few days recently and things seems to be going well for them. He directs the choir and the music program and Rumy has added to her keyboard skills and plays both the organ and piano for their church.  I think when they lived here the snow never met real well with them and Ross mentioned that 81 degrees is the daily expectation out there. They are feeling no pain.

Can it be better? Yep, a few things different would be OK.  This morning at my second stop to pick up kids, a blind girl, (about 6th grade) got on the bus.  She waved her white cane in the entrance door, then on the steps, and then she climbed on and went back to her seat unassisted.   I found the nerve to ask her if she had ever been able to see.  Yep she said "I could see a little up till when I was three so I know what people look like".  About three stops later she told me that I had gone a block beyond my turn and I had. (I am still learning the route).  I thought about that a little as I have been writing this.  It was evident to me that she could summon a sense that goes beyond any Garmin or GPS that we might imagine.  (She could tell by the bumps in the road.)  So yes, we have had a few bumps. But the lumps and the bumps are still outweighed by some fine things and some things to look forward to. So we know here what people look like. It seems as though when we and our friends get a little older the bumps get a little closer together though.  Allow me to end with a poem.

As the wheels on the bus go round and round

Let these greetings somehow resound.  

May this season bring you not one more pound.  

May your  children be happy and all come around 

May your logic and reasoning all be sound

Let your emotions glow and your hearts be found

In closing let me say that it is going to be all right

If this year my Christmas is not all that white.

So no snow a warm glow and a feeling we all know

Is what we wish for all as we go on with the show.

Stan and Deb

(It has been so long since we did this, we can't hardly remember how to "blog" anymore. We will post some new pictures when we figure it out again. Deb)

A few pics from Christmas 2014

Christmas Letter 2013

Hi, Stan wrote a Christmas letter and we sent it to some via email. Thought some of you would enjoy it. I thought I would add a little medical info for those who might be interested. I am having chemo once a month and they tell me it will be that way forever. Two days after chemo I go into the GR office for a shot, part of the clinical trial. My CA-125 count is hanging around 88, and they wish it would go down into the normal range. When I have CT scans they say the tumors are not growing, but staying the same for me is good, so we stay the course. The Ct scans and chest x-rays are every two months, and boy do they seem to come around fast. I still struggle with the ileostomy. It is not fun and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I am thankful to be able to work "on-call" on the birth center and teach childbirth classes once a month. I love watching Ainsley on Weds. and she is getting to know her Grandma. Thanks everyone who continues to remember us in prayer.

Christmas 2013

Dear Family and Friends,

It only took one person to say “remember when you used to do those Christmas letters? I used to read them and sort of remember a few of them”.   Plus we received a number of nice letters this year from friends and relatives so I asked Deb this morning if it would seem cheap to do something online.  I sort of worry that it sends the message that we are not willing to invest the 45 cent stamp and the time to send out something.  Most of you know, however, that energy levels here are not always what they used to be so trust us that this greeting has none of those thoughts.  Instead the desire to communicate a Christmas greeting and some update on what is going on in our family.

It would be hard to put some of this stuff in order.  Some of it goes together.  Some of it has to do with survival. Some with hope. Some with joy and all the rest.  The best way I can explain this is in the fact that we were blessed with our first Grandchild “ Ainsley Grace” born to Alden and Mary this past June.  She is sort of the “star of the show” when she does show up around here and I must say we have all been having some fun with this.  All she has to do is sit in the middle of the floor and make some sort of noise or crack some sort of smile and it is like the Lions win the Super Bowl.  I really do not think Deb ever thought she would make it to see this day and it is this element that adds a special part of joy and to this whole deal. Deb takes care of her one day a week. Our other children have also responded to the joy of this event in a fine way.  Most importantly though, our family has been blessed with things to look forward to, some trips, grandchildren, some new jobs and a few other things to help us concentrate more on the task at hand rather than the very tough elements of dealing with our main issue of Deb’s cancer.

Speaking of that let me give an update.  At one time I wrote that we figured out that this type of cancer is never really conquered, it can only be endured. So yes there are some issues with all sorts of things.   Last year at this time Deb was in the hospital for 49 days.  But since that time she has returned to work on a part-time basis.  Who would have ever thought it?  Still some problems but a heap better than a year ago and in this we strike new meaning to the word “rejoice”.

Mieke received a new full time teaching position this year in the 4th grade in Hudsonville.  She has a deep love for her students and it is my guess that if you have a kid in the 4th grade you have yourself a good deal if you have her for a teacher.  When she received the position she chose the theme “traveling through the 4th grade” and her dad “me” offered to write a story about a guy in the 4th grade who chooses to travel the country on foot.  The kids seem to like it so far and it is one little thing I can do for her.  His name is Blarry and his dogs name is Browser. I like writing so it has filled a need for me as well.  Mieke loves her job and that has meant all the checks made out to Hope College seem worth it.

Ross just took a new position of going on tour with a group called Axiom Brass.  They perform around the country and from what I have been able to find on line this should be a good gig for him.  He and Rumy seem to be doing well but they are thinking that a move to a larger venue such as Chicago might be in the cards.  They seem to really care for each other and they enjoy being married.  From what I have been able to figure out it was somewhat providential that they are together.  The type of life and work a professional musician must do could only be totally understood by someone in the same field.

I take a special pride in my son- in-law Aaron. He works now in the same field as I but just for a different company and he seems to thrive in this field. Plus he is the nicest human being on planet earth.  Mary, Alden’s wife is very relaxed with that grandbaby of mine. She works at Via Design and she is just fun to be around.  Rumy is a very hard working woman  and plays the piano in a blur of fingers and teaches many young children.  I had a friend tell me this summer “Stan you are a lucky guy”.   And on these fronts I agree.

At the risk of making this long I have a few more things.  We have what I think may be getting to be a special thing in our family.  All four of our parents are living and still able to enjoy life.  My mother and father moved to Freedom Village this past year and Deb’s parents are not running marathons but they are still doing good.  I enjoy doing some outdoor stuff with Deb’s dad.  They have some snowmobiles that he and I still use.  My dad gave me his whole library and I enjoy reading and learning from some of his things.  My mom seems to thrive at Freedom Village and they still have us for dinner at what I call the 5 star Freedom Village gourmet restaurant. Deb's mom seems to be in the best shape of them all. We enjoyed a trip with them to the U.P. this year.

It is December 24 and I am not sure global warming has reached us all that hard this year,  been very cold here.  Lots of snow as well.  But as they say the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.  And that is what I really want to say.  There is still a fire over here.  It burns in the most interesting way.  Living parents, new grandchildren, survival, new jobs. All in all it is going to be pretty nice Christmas this year.

From the Stan and Deb and Gang.

Good Deals But Sore Heals

Stan Here: 

I just looked and it has been about 4 months since anything new has been on the blog.  On that last posting we said we would not put much up unless conditions changed and you know they have not changed all that much.  The counts all seem to be pretty good. Deb is still having chemo and it seems in between some test the results come in and they look OK. Even the rash that resulted from the chemo is not as pronounced as it was at one time but it is still there. Perhaps the largest problem right now is some pretty strong problems around the ankles and back of feet that prevent wearing shoes with any thing around the heels.  Now from a mans perspective I cannot imagine wearing shoes that had no back to them but I guess if this is the price it is not so large. We do have this collection of shoes around the house with fronts and no backs but they look pretty good, in my opinion.  Not really the kind you wear shoveling snow but the kind you wear when you need to tell you husband that you cannot help with the snow.

It seems that what we have found is that it is rare with the type of cancer Deb has to ever reach the day that  it can be said that the “cancer is behind me”.  But the fact remains that somehow this cancer can be endured and that is what Deb is doing.  She is working again and once that has been possible the calls are coming in pretty good and it seems that she gets all the work she can handle.  Her work has been very good for her and to her.  Plus the extra money here is pretty nice with everything that is going on.

Deb does take care of our granddaughter Ainsley one day each week and it seems that they have bonded.  It is hard to resist posting a picture of the “star of the show”. We had a great thanksgiving with the whole family up north. We spent some time sitting in the living room with a blanket in the middle and observing Ainsley playing with stuff and doing new stuff.  Somehow I kind of forgot how much fun it is to observe the progress of infants but I thought about selling tickets to everyone as they commented “look what she is doing now”.  I think many of you have been through this but for us right now it seems pretty special.

Pictures of Ainsley:

Gotta put on the P.A. the new CA

Thanks Stan for the title. I wanted to call it, "Time for the Happy Dance Again" but he said, that's too old. It also makes me a bit sad because my friend Tammy who taught me to do the Happy Dance passed away a few months ago. I can still see her grab my hands, lift me out of the chemo recliner and say, it's time to dance! I miss her, but I will never forget her optimism and zest for life.

I had my visit with Dr. Downey on Monday. The great news is that the CA-125 is down from 241 to 77!! I was prepared for it to maybe even go up, because that is what they often see when people are started on Doxil. He also reviewed the results of the CT scan from last week. The one larger spot near my gallbladder fossa is the same size. There are a few other spots that look like they have gotten smaller. So this is also good news. My biggest side effect from this drug (besides being tired) is a rash I have on my legs. But, they said, sorry you have a rash, but we think you should continue with this drug because it seems to be working. I agreed, and they gave me some meds to help with the itching. I still miss my "hot" things, but I am getting used to throwing some ice cubes in my morning coffee. So far, no big problems with sore hands or feet.

I have been able to return to work a little bit. I have taught three Sat. childbirth education classes and worked on the floor some. I prefer 4 hr. shifts, because I really am tired when it's much longer. It has been so nice to see all of my co-workers again. I really did miss them. Another nurse from our unit was just diagnosed with Leukemia, and has to be up at Spectrum for a month. We are all so sad and shocked at this news. Our hearts and prayers go out to Paula and her family.

That is the one thing that just seems to be a constant. the waiting room at the oncologist office is always full of new patients that seem to have the same look that my family and I had when we first were there. "Deer in the headlights" look and fear of what they have to go through. Aug. 1 was my second year anniversay of learning that I had cancer. I remember thinking, if I could just have another year or two, that would be so wonderful. Well, I got that, and I am thankful everyday that I have been around for so many wonderful things, Ross, Rumy, Mieke and Aaron all graduated, their wedding, the birth of my darling little grand daughter...and so many other wonderful moments with family and friends. I don't take any day for granted, I look at them as a gift. I was happy to have another birthday.

I am having lots of fun helping Mieke decorate her new classroom in Hudsonville. When Stan saw the picture her principal took of her signing her contract, he said, this makes all the tuition to Hope College worth it!!

Every thing I read about living with cancer says that you need to be hopeful. This was in a recent email:

• Be true to yourself. Make sure that you are doing activities and involved in relationships that keep your sense of self and identity separate from your diagnosis of cancer. (working and teaching help me feel "normal")
• Stay connected. Both formal and informal relationships provide a positive impact on your life. (girlfriends, PEO sisters,family)
• Set goals for the future. This will give you a sense of power over your own health and well-being.(I need to add a few more things to my bucket list)
• Find ways to give back. Use what you've learned to help others. (I hope to start doing Kids Hope again and volunteer at church more)
• Stay in touch with your spirituality. This is defined by your personal sense of spirit and may be religious or meditative in nature. (Keep believing in the power of prayer, attend a Bible Study and keep daily devotions a priority)

Stan just left for his golf league. He is not happy with how he is playing this year. But he still enjoys the guys and being out in the fresh air. Our garden up north is starting to really produce. If anyone needs zucchini, let us know!

I you want to see a little of Rumy in Bulgaria at their concert. Go to You Tube
Rumyana plays Rachmoninoff     It is amazing, all for memory too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZUQw0bWkRU&feature=share

To see pictures of Ainsley Grace: try this site:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/35538699@N04/

The Sog in the Blog

Stan Here:

Being up and down the streets of our town I have heard several comments and questions about why no more postings on the Blog.  In other words a noticeable sog in the blog.  Well here is why.  It has been sort of a goal around here to reach this point.  So no news is good news as they say and for the most part there has not been all that much news around here lately on the the health front.   But now I have a couple of things I should post.

It is Saturday.  Temp outside is around 72, wind is not blowing and I think if you had to look for a word to describe the day you might try to find a word something like pristine.  And inside of that word we have a couple other things I just have to tell you.  Some of you know that we have been blessed with a new grandchild and tonight we have the burdensome task of needing to visit her and take care of her for a while so Alden and Mary can attend a wedding.  I know this is going to be a tough one.  But I think we can do this!!! I know it is so boring for people to talk about their grandchildren but it seems to me that as these things go we have got a good one here.  She is a couple of months old and she can even muster a smile.  She kind of frowns at me but when Deb holds her she smiles.  I can handle this.

Plus we picked up Ross and Rumy yesterday from a three week trip to Bulgaria.  They had sort of a interesting thing happen.  They got stuck in Vienna (sp) for a day because of a late plane.  Now for two musicians to get stuck there is not a bad deal.  It was kind of touching to hear them talk about this.  They visited the home of Mozart. Both Rumy and Ross have such a deep appreciation for music that when we picked them up Ross reported that a few tears were shed as they toured his home.  I think that for many of us we cannot understand this all that much but somehow for them this event stood out and meant a lot to them.  Ross talked about it all the way home.

I have one other kind of fun thing to tell you about.  Mieke received a teaching position in the 4th grade at Hudsonville.  I think I have reported to you before that she has such a passion and love for teaching and children that whoever gets her will be lucky.  So she and Deb cleaned out our basement of all of the stuff she has stored to set up her classroom and they loaded it all in the car a day or so ago and went to set it up.  So I get a clean basement out of the deal and some kids over there get a good teacher.  I am writing a story for her. Her theme is A Rode Trip through the forth grade.  So I am writing a story that she can read every day about the adventures of a guy by the name of Blarry McGlary who travels on foot and visits every state in the USA. I called her last night to see if she could use this.  They teach about the USA and the capitals in the forth grade and you can be sure this guy is going to all of those places and that he will have some adventures along the way.  Should be fun.

Now I just put some birdseed out in the backyard.  And sure enough I have this Pileated woodpecker who jumped on the feeder.  For those of you who do not know this bird it sort of looks like Woody the Woodpecker.  Not sure why this is all that significant except to tell you that the red head reminds me of one other thing.   While it has been true that the medical events around here are somewhat calmer than in the past, it is also true that recent times have not been trouble free.  As a result of the chemo drug that Deb is now taking she is suffering through a pretty strong rash.  She is teaching a childbirth education class today at Holland Hospital and she has been able to work a little this week but I could not help but feel sorry for her when she left this morning.  When she was started on this chemo drug she was told the the side effects would have some of this and this has been kind of roaring in these past days.  Only she could blast through this without complaining all that much, but I must tell you that if it was me this thing looks like it has to hurt.

She and I went on kind of a nice trip to the UP with her parents this past week.  I had never seen the Soo Locks or the pictured rocks and we did both of those things and more.  On the way back she had to have a CT Scan and some X-rays in GR.  We get the results of those test on Monday when she sees the oncologist and she has more chemo.  So if you are a praying person if you could put one in for us I would appreciate it.  We are hoping that the test will show further reduction of the cancer.  She also still fights pretty hard with issues surrounding her illiostomy so I do not want you to think we are totally in the clear.  I do want you to know however that life is OK over here.

 Plus I want you to know that I think my Grandchild is nice looking if I am allowed to say that.

StM

The Happiest Day

We are so Happy to announce the arrival of our first grandchild, Ainsley Grace Hoksbergen. She was born Sat. June 22 at 10:18pm at Spectrum Hospital in GR. She weighed 7lbs. 1oz., 19 1/2 in. long. She is so cute!! Mary did great with the labor and delivery.