I want to write to all of you guys.I am in the process of writing many thank you notes and I am almost finished and will put them in the mail. One of the problems when you are married to Deb is that many thank you notes are going to be in the the picture. Frankly though this has provided for me some therapy and instead of a chore it has been a joy.
Like I said last time I am going to close down this blog, but a good friend suggested I not do so until Ross and Rumy have their baby. So I am going to keep this open till that date and hopefully put up a post of joy when that day happens.
I was honored by the many friends and relatives that took the time to come to the visitation and the funeral. I was also thankful that my children could participate in the service. I listened to the service on the Beechwood Live Feed and I thought that Deb would feel honor in the words and somehow that is important to me right now.
I have never been sure how one would feel after a loss like this. I must tell you that the last couple of weeks of her life were perhaps the toughest times I will ever witness. But it was also a witness to courage in it highest form. So someplace in that is a lesson. Can I also tell you an emotion? Of all the things that were hard about this, the hardest thing for me is the thought of her body laying in the cold ground. I know that is kind of a dumb thought and I am aware that that the soul now passes to another place, but somehow this has still been hard for me.
My kids gave me a good suggestion. I have a little dog now. I paid a few bucks for this dog but so far it has been worth it. I named it Minnie. If it was a male I was going to name it Stan because I have been worried they were going to retire my name, but instead I named it Minnie which is the name of one of my grandmothers. In fact looking at this dog it resembles her somewhat.
I am somewhat puzzled by dogs. I have been watching this dog pretty close and I let it out often. The other day I let it out and it walked in to the house and pooped right when it came in. I sat the dog down and we both looked over the evidence and I explained that this could not happen again. So far this method of training is working. There have been no more mistakes.
Thank you all once again for your love and care. I am doing OK. I am overwhelmed by the thought and care all of our friends have shown. You are fine people.
Stan
We think of you often Stan, thanks for sharing your feelings. I'm sure Minnie will become a good friend.
ReplyDeleteWe continue to pray for you all.
ReplyDeleteGreat to see your post. I don't think it's weird that it bothers you that her body is in the cold ground. That is a legit thought. You reminded me of my mother's concern when my dad died and was buried, she asked me several times if we were real sure he was dead, "it would be awful if he woke up in the casket". Our minds think some strange things sometimes. Glad to hear you have a dog, I think you will enjoy that friendship! And it's a good way to get out and get fresh air, go walk Minnie! I have been thinking and praying for you and your kids. I am glad Deb's pain is gone, but her passing still brings sadness. Hope you get a little job like you talked to me about. Keep writing here once in a while, we know you like to write. Can't wait to hear joyful news about a new grandbaby! Take care Stan!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts and dreams. Give Minnie hugs often as it will help to fill the void.You gave Deb a wonderful tribute.
ReplyDeleteDear Stan, I continue to admire your writing, your "transparency" and your hope and faith, even amid doubts and fears and loss. I'll give you a call soon and bring over a pizza.
ReplyDeleteDavid