In 1492

Stan Here,

I have been having some trouble getting good sleep here.  Last night I found myself thinking about the old phrase " In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue".  I found myself thinking about how he and the sailors embarked on a journey to find a new land in a world where they thought the world was flat.

There are some parts about this that describe the situation we are in right now. Mostly we are sort of on uncharted ground here.  There is no part of this that both of us do not know the final result of but at the same time the quest for life is something that has a pull that cannot be put down.  We are visited by days of adjusting meds, confusion, pain, swelling,  and about every other thing you might be able to think of as it relates to  options and issues that relate to human life.

There have been times of late where the pain has been so strong that Deb has expressed the desire for a peaceful end. At the same time there have been moments of holding a grandchild on the lap that generates the desire to keep on going. So it has been difficult to determine the correct path on this.

One thing that has been important and appreciated is the many e-mails and greetings that you have sent.  She can read them, We read them to her also but she is not able to respond so please understand this.

Presently we are trying to make her comfortable by the transition to the pain med of Methadone but this has been sort of a tough venture. We are told that at the end of the week she will be able to enjoy a period of time of being "with it and the same old Deb for a period of time".  So the ship has has not sailed off of the end of the world yet and we have perhaps a little more time but it is a tough journey.

If you are praying people please pray for some relief from a level of pain that is sort of off of the charts.  It means a lot to her that people are with her.

Stan