New Years no Fears some Tears

Stan Here:

At least new years day did not go by without something exciting. The hospital made arrangements for Deb to go home for a few hours.  They arranged the medication in such a way that Deb could go home for a short time on New Years day. We used this time to arrange our annual gift exchange of our family.  I picked up Deb at 12:30 and she had to be back here by 6.  She did quite well and handled the car ride well. She walked in the house and did some quick wrapping of presents as she thought my presentation of the gift (the box method) was not indicative of what things should look like.  I was quite proud that the house looked pretty good. I had put a spit shine on the place and thought I had the place looking pretty good upstairs and down.  To give you some idea though Deb's energy level was not good enough to go upstairs and check that out. After the gifts were wrapped (thrown in gift bags) Deb spent the rest of the time sitting down and enjoying the exchange.  By the end of the time we could tell that her energy level indicated it was time to go back.  What is happening is that all of her nourishment comes via IV and you could tell why they only allowed 4 hours away.  Also they had to provide various medication for pain and nausea before she left and you could tell that was wearing thin as the afternoon went by.  It was kind of like being let out of jail for a day of what sometimes feels a life sentence so when it was time to go back there were a few tears. However the sensation was clear that it was time to return.  All in all it was a nice afternoon.  At the end we took the tree down and put the ornaments away.  All the kids helped with this and made short work of it.  I sense that Deb has never really trusted me with the Christmas ornaments. She wraps each one and each year has a few new ones all of which are precious to her.  There are so many that the tree tipped over once when she was gone.  Mieke came over and had helped me put them all in the right place and only a few busted in the fall.  Maybe no more live trees at our house.

So I have the New Years, few tears part but how about the no fears.  As far as we can tell the doctors are very positive about the thought that every thing will start working the way things should at some point.  There seem to be no medical concerns, infections or any else standing in the way of anticipating a full return to the world of normal at some point in the future.  So while it is true that our patience is being tested it is also true that we remain confident that this will work.  At least that is what they tell us. Now you might sense some trepidation in the tone of that sentence and if you do you are right. After this long it seems like Time is just a magazine and does not really have to do with days and hours anymore.  Forever seems like a word that fits our feeling better.  Deb got in the sermon at church the other day when he came to the part about long suffering.  I am not sure it is ever all that good to be in sermons.  I think someplace in the Bible they talk about test taking 40 days and 40 nights.  If that is what it is we got it. Perhaps that is when this thing will end. 40 days and 40 nights. We are on day 37 right now.  Might be kind of nice to think about getting out then.  At least I will understand that sermon better the next time they preach it.  40 days and 40 nights.  Let's all pray for that goal.

Stan